SOLO MOUNTAINEERING.(Stoves,Slings,and other things!)

JETBOIL STOVE.

I fell in love with the Jetboil from the moment it hit the retail market.Now i am on my second one,as the first is in tiny bits at the bottom of a big Swiss mountain.The main problem with it has allways been its londitudinal shape and wobbly base-bracket which makes it very easy to knock over.Which is how i lost the first one!
I never cook anything in mine,its solely for heating water for drinks and dehydrated ration packs,and melting snow and ice for water replenishment.I advise others not to cook in them either as they are hell to scrub out!Two tips to pass on,-Allways carry a second ignition source(lighter or matches),dont trust "Piso" ignition systems.Mark the gas cannister usage(on the can) as theres nothing worse than running out of gas when you need it!
I finally figured out how to secure the stove after seeing Andy Kirkpatricks effort on his blog .Mine is lighter and not so ellegant as his.

All i did was fit a 6inch wide "marine stainless steel" Jubilee Clip,bought from my local chandlery,and fastened 2-feet of braided-brass "picture frame wire" to each side,in order to hang it.I prefered this wire as it is bendy and can be twisted around protection to lock the stove in place.Its allso imensely strong stuff! There are loads of great mountain stoves on the market of course!? But this one suits my budget and soloing needs perfectly!

IMPROVISED ETRIERS.

ETRIER,means "stirrup" in French and is a simple piece of kit that is incredibly useful for giving a solo-climber a "leg up",especially creaky old codgers like me! You can buy a 5-step Etrier for about £25,or make your own out of Nylon Slings.I prefer nylon as its cheaper,easier to pull apart after use,and less likely to rip if you use crampons on it!

Dyneema on the other hand is stronger but very easy to damage,more costly,and locks up solid when you knot it and add weight. Theres a strange little video on http://www.itstactical.com/ (a useful and fun website)that shows you how to rig Etrier with simple overhand knots,if your not sure how to do it?!
Make sure you make the steps with enough room to take an Alpine Boot,and dont make your etrier too long(4 to 5 steps are fine!).Its better and more useful to carry two small ones,than one long one! Practice rigging and using them often as they can be very unstable to climb on,and its best to stay familiar with them.

Peggy demoing finished variation.

Use a Krab or two,to counterweight the ends,or the slightest wind will blow the thing up around your ears and drive you nuts! Attach the top ends to a second sling or lanyard(one full arms length long),then attach that to your belay-loop on your harness.This sling or lanyard must be able to take your full weight and can be used as protection ,when clipping into a gear placement in the rock. It will allso save you money and a lot of tears and pain if you should drop the Etrier.

Rob doing "bounce test".

Finally make sure you bounce-test the device before you commit to useing it,in the same way you test a gear placement when you clip an Etrier to it and commit your body weight.
Technically,using Etriers can be considered as "Aid Climbing" even if only used to get you over a small,difficult, rock or ice step or to escape a crevasse!? The lightweight and very simple system that i employ,"must not" be construed as suitable for Technical Aid Climbing or Big Wall Aid Climbing! That is a very different skill-set alltogether,that should be learned from experts in that field.I have "no" skills or expierience in that type of climbing at all!
My use of these techniques and devices are simple systems to help me overcome short difficult pitches,where my solo-climbing abilities are overstretched!

Best to all,and good climbing!

Rob.

CWS-"COLD WILLY SYNDROME".(Staying warm,and other things!)

NO CHEAP KNOB JOKES PLEASE?!
Its a delicate thing for a guy to discuss!I mean,women dont have the wedding-tackle plumbing that we do!?Dangley bits sticking out willy-nilly all over the place.If the reproductive hydraulic complications are not bad enough,we have Frost Bite to worry about?!
The women have now got the "She-Wee" to help them out.

"They even have extentions and a GTX-model,its frightening!!

But can you imagine the angst and willy-waggling it would take to manufacture a "He-Wee"?? "Not long enough,not wide enough,colours all wrong,i want a helmet not an anteater"? TTS(timid tinkler syndrome)would reach plague levels,and young guys would be swanning around the crags with huge lengths of multi-coloured plastic drainpipe sticking out of their packs!?

I have this little problem you see! I was never circumcised and "strange things" happen to me in cold weather.The end goes all blue and wrinkley forcing my poor togger back into my body.This is not a big problem(metaphoricaly speaking!)until i need to take a pee,then the fun starts! Your busting to syphon the python and suddenly you find its gone-bush on you!(no pun intended) Then when your able theres a horrible panicky moment as you try to prise and wrestle it out of its hiding-place to perform its function. Then to your horror,after you tuck it away theres allways a little drop left!(yuck!) I allways used to take a piece of plastic-pipe to Switzerland with me,until one day a female Security Officer searched my kit at Gatwick. She held it up in front of a crowd of Easy-Jet passengers and looked at me as though i lived under a rock,sadisticly swinging it back and forth in rubber-gloved fingers! (I bet she owned an extended She-Wee?)

Since then ive improvised my mountain pee-tubes on arrival,then last year quite by chance i found the solution(actually it was a cream.) whilst chatting on Andy Kirkpatricks blog on the subject of frostbite.

I was saying to him that maybe its a bad idea to shower before an alpine-climb as the loss of skin oils cause you to lose too much heat(and thus energy)when overnight bivvying.(if you take a hot bath then walk out in the cold,youle know!?) I allways used a Lanolin-cream before a cold climb,but now you cant get it for love or money?!He suggested "Udder Balm",which is Lanolin based and about £3 a tube on Amazon.Its generaly used on Cows-udders in winter to stop them getting frostbite after milking!

(Adds luster to your cluster!)

But like Lanolin,a thin coating rubbed over your body before a cold-climb is of tremendous help retaining body-heat.There are many valid precedents for this in Papuan,Inuit,and Native American cultures!Its important to remember that "heat"is a by-product of energy,and "cold"is simply the "abscence" of energy! Areas of the body eg:head,arms,legs,feet,genitalia.are the areas where heat (and thus energy) are lost the quickest.Even if its hot at Valley-Base its a good idea to put a small amount of cream on your skin,before heading into cold zones.(no i am not kidding!)

Allso take a small tube up with you,it seriously helps prevent frostbite.(And shrinky willy syndrome)One last thing,dont enjoy "rubbing" it on too much or people will think your doing something else!!

Ps: Lanolin is a natural animal fat so it doesnt ruin your 

      clothes. Its allso very easy to wash out.

PPS: NO COWS,SECURITY OFFICERS,or SHEWEE,s WERE

         HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BLOG!

Good climbing!

Rob.